sábado, 26 de março de 2016

The truth

Kids, I will tell you all the truth through this blog. BE WISE and don't go out there showing or telling everyone about what you read. I am doing this for a couple of reasons: 1. Knowing about the wrongs of your family can really teach you to make better choices and DO RIGHT. 2. I learned about my family's wrongs when I was bout 23 years old and my sisters and I suffered a lot. Maybe, if you know it from me, now, you will understand things the way they are better then my sisters and I did. -------- I met your dad back in seventh grade in Brazil. He moved to USA with his family in 2000, and I moved to USA by myself in 2009. I lived in Michigan, your dad was in Massachusetts. He added me on facebook, and we became good friends. We saw each other 8 times, on the 8th time, he proposed!!! It was hard, we had no money. Flying to see each other was super expensive. Months after we started talking he started calling me "linda, my pumpkin, amorzinho". We had a beautiful start. Then, when we got engaged, I had to live in his parents' house for 9 months. The first and second month were amazing!! but then, we got married and things changed. I would cry and pray a lot because we needed a place to ourselves. To start building our life together. Your dad was finishing school, and I would spend nights awake helping him finish his school projects. He couldn't work because he had no time on his schedule, I was working as a babysitter, making very little money. It was very hard! Then, your grandparents started complaining about me. They said I wouldn't talk to them, I wouldn't look in their eyes, and that I didn't accept their family (not true). I was not the nicest person on earth as I lived with them, because, they didn't talk to each other! Why would I? they were always being rude to each other, and I wanted to be away from that because that was not how I was raised with my sisters and parents. I never saw my parents being rude to each other! Anyways, So I would come home, go straight to my room, not talk too much, didn't wanna know about anything. Just wanted to pray, be alone, and have my own place with my husband. Before I moved to MA, your grandma called me and said that she would give me her day care, that I would work for her... IT NEVER HAPPENED and it really frustrated me because I left my country thinking I already had a job, but I had to go around and ask about job, in fact, your grandma found my first job as a babysitter, which made me be SURE that she was not gonna "hire me" as she had said. ------ When such things started happening, I though God was mad at me for leaving my house, my dad, marrying far from everybody. Not in church but at a town hall. I was ridiculously sad. ----- Months later, when we moved to our place, your grandparents and uncle and aunt came over, I was expecting 2 people and ended up having 5 or 6 people over. Next morning I asked your grandma to please let me know how many people will be going to my place, and let me know when they are going as well so I can prepare some snack or something. My house was small, we had no money for extra food, so I needed time to organize myself and be a better host. After that, she called your dad and told him I didn't want them in my house. ¬¬ #forreal SO DRAMATIC. And she super cried on the phone with him being dramatic. You dad didn't speak with me for a day. I was devastated. Kids, no matter what happen in your lives, please BE HONEST. TALK to your family! TRUST your mom, trust your dad. TALK! I have always followed Jesus Christ, and when I go through tough times, HE is all I can thing of speaking with. Anyways, I called my dad, your grandma Zeca and he calmed me down. My dad was and still is my hero.---------------- Well, after these dramas, there were many more. MANY more. When Ethan was born, he didn't like his grandparents much, and I honestly believe it was because he saw and heard them yealling at his mom in one of the conversations they had. I was had to apologize. For what I didn't do, for what I did, for what they said I did and was not truth. I say "I HAD TO", because the Holy Spirit made me. I don't know why, but I never had the guts to yell at your grandparents and tell them I hated them for talking bad about me to my husband, ruining my marriage. I kept asking God to not let me speak, but that the Holy Spirit would speak through me and I think that is what really happened every single freaking time, that I had to deal with your grandma and grandpa. The last time that something on their level happened was in september 2014... Your grandma texted your dad inviting him over. I read the text, she said: "Son, can you come over so we can talk? But only you!" and he went over, and she talked to him about me, criticizing me. Your dad was pretty wise through all this time, he was always very quiet and NOT TALKING MUCH is always wise as the word of God, the bible, teaches us. At some point he started defending me, but it also took him a while, which made me suffer even more. But I survived!!! Today, March 26th 2016, I woke up said, needing a friend. Needing my sisters. But Mel is in New Jersey, Tita is in Brazil. Vanessa is in Germany, Isis is in Brazil... Gaby is in Illinois, Fer is in North Caroline.... Here is two advices: FORGIVE, no matter what ; Life will always be hard, but it can be a lot harder without a good friend around. --- Love, your mom.